This may be a bit premature, but I’m going to go ahead and file the next few years of my life as “character building”.
Spent the last 10 minutes googling to see if Sofia Vegara was the parrot in Aladdin. The results will surprise you.
If I could go back in time and tell my 8 year old self something, It’d be, you can stop working on that Pauly Shore impression. He isn’t going to be as big as we think he is.
Drunk Me’s ability to come up with bullshit has become so legendary that my friends have started referring to me as Jack Daniels Day Lewis. This entire post is a lie, but that just proves my point even more.
When I’m in a cool bar I like to sit in the corner, by myself, and blog about all the fun I’m having.
Im blogging right now. so I’ll have something to do and not drunk text the girl I have a crush on. also to look cool.
Captain’s log: November 29th. 9:36 PM. In the Year of Our Lord, Two Thousand and Twelve.
Still haven’t figured out the correct combination of emojis that will make women want to have sex with me.
I thought I was close with the eggplant one.
But she thought I wanted a salad.
I’ve always said that yoga pants would be the death of me.
And I never really knew what that meant until earlier today, while I was staring at girl wearing them, I almost got hit by a bus.
And thinking about it now. I kinda wish the bus did hit me.
So then my obituary could say I died doing what I loved.
Being a creep.
