*snapchat of me after the Valentine’s show eating Rally’s and singing Do What You Want To My Body softly to my mushroom swiss burger*

I consider myself a philanthropist because when something has 69 likes, I won’t like it. Even if I do like it. For the greater good.

kbas:

Life Advice; Killer Mike

Bout to drop off my resume attached to a box of wine.

Looking for jobs on Craigslist. Saw an ad for a bar that said “Are you attractive? Do you know what ‘turn up’ means? Apply here.” Bruh. This might be the first time in my entire life that I’m overqualified for a job.

"I don’t need to tag my posts as the Struggle cuz y’all already know." 
- @runandblogthat

"I don’t need to tag my posts as the Struggle cuz y’all already know."
- @runandblogthat

runandblogthat:

My shitty apartment doesn’t have any heat. Everytime I go to bed, it’s like that scene in Titanic where Leo dies of hypothermia in the ocean. But instead of Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” playing softly in the background, it’s Jay-Z’s “Hard Knock Life”.

The Unicorns: 2014

350 plays

alan-hanson:

The Unicorns, The Unicorns: 2014

Pretend it’s still December 31st.

De La Soul is Dead

499 plays

thirdeyeblindjumper:

De La Soul, “Millie Pulled a Pistol on Santa” from De La Soul is Dead (Tommy Boy, 1991)

(via sylvieshead)

I never dirty talk. If a girl is about to have sex with me, nothing I say is going to improve the situation. It can only hurt it. That’s why after a certain point of a date I stop talking and communicate solely through a series of winks.

Me giving my future son relationship advice. Or me concluding my keynote commencement speech at Columbia Law School. Haven’t decided yet. These are the decisions future me will have to wrestle over.

59 plays

Charizma & Peanut Butter Wolf

(Source: no23)

likeafieldmouse:

headlikeanorange

likeafieldmouse:

headlikeanorange

likeafieldmouse:

headlikeanorange

likeafieldmouse:

headlikeanorange

50 plays

isitanart:

39 Clocks - I Love A Girl

My mother always stresses the importance of being productive and using every hour in a day. I spent most of today convincing white people my name is spelled “K-a-h-l-o-l”.

409 plays

glowgirl:

"A Girl Named Sandoz" The Animals 

(via skum-city)