I should get braids.
An elderly gentleman mispronounced my name as “Coolio,” and I didn’t correct him because I wanted to see what it was like to live in a world where that was true.
[ redacted ] Luckily my asshole [ redacted ] was tingling.
Almost made the mistake of jaywalking in front of the campus police. Luckily my asshole sense was tingling.
Still don’t know what DIY means. Nobody tell me though. I want to figure it out by myself.
The previous post was a cautionary tale about believing in yourself. Don’t do it.
Earlier today I took the case off my iphone because it was bulky and looked stupid. I believe my exact reasoning was something like, “I’m an adult. I pay taxes. I’m not going to drop my phone anymore. I believe in myself.”
About 5 minutes ago,
I slipped on a sheet of ice and dropped my entire body on my phone.
If mandolin man beats me up, I’ll delete my blog.
I’ve been heckling some guy playing the mandolin all night because I’m an asshole.
I can always tell how Pitchfork approved a band is by how many nearsighted people with square glasses show up at their concert.
Wait. No. A group of black people just sat by me. Now I’m associated with them because of racism.
I’m drinking alone at a bar waiting on my friends. I look like an alcoholic.