Friend: Are you wearing a woman's jackett?
Me: Nah, man. It's European.
I'm beginning to think
that this denim jacket I got at the thrift store is a woman’s jacket. But me and my tiny, feminine torso don’t give a fuck.
[[MORE]]I gave my five-year-old nephew my email address earlier this week. He’s emailed me 58 times since then. He only knows how to spell six words. Kill me. Kill me now.
[[MORE]]I’m going to continue my stance that iPads are stupid and unnecessary until I can afford to buy one.
Aw, Pregnant Co-worker, don't be embarrassed for...
I’m not afraid of just clowns, I’m afraid of anyone who can tie phallic objects into painful looking animal shapes.
[[MORE]]Maybe it’s just the cold medicine talking, but make sure you aspirate the onions before bedtime or you’ll attract the moon flies.
People are surprised
I’m with a black girl. Like “Oh, I thought Kahlil only dated white girls”. Nah, son. Kahlil dates what’s convenient. In highschool, I was surounded by white girls, so that’s what I got. In college, I was surrounded by white girls, so that’s what I got. Now, I’m surrounded by black girls. I’m not discriminating, I’m lazy.
A middle-aged white guy will win Ohio.