[[MORE]]Just had a Tangled/Crazy, Stupid, Love double feature by myself. So if my calculations are correct, I’m about 5 minutes away from posting pictures of my cat and really long, uninteresting ramblings about how much I love nutella. I am a 15 year old girl.
If it wasn’t for that time I watched all 5 seasons of the Wire in one weekend, I wouldn’t understand half the things Clipse raps about.
older brother: Have you been playing video games all day?
me: You mean, have I done anything else today besides save the world from rampaging mutants while simultaneously overthrowing a tyrannical, post-apocalyptic government?
older brother: Yeah.
me: No. That's about it.
Is there some type of agreed upon protocol of what to do when you recognize a pornstar in a different context other than porn? ‘Cause uncontrollably giggling to myself is NOT working.
When you get home tonight, you’re going to be confronted with the instinct to...– a quote from Toby Ziegler, the West Wing
Personally, I enjoy my lunchtime snack cakes like I like my women: loose morals...– when I’m hungry, I get a little misogynistic.
orkney-mc asked: Your blog has been a very entertaining read on a lazy friday morning, thankyou.
[[MORE]]We’ll know we’re truly in ‘post-racial America’ when I, as a 6’2” black man, can step on a basketball court filled with white people and not get picked first…I’m tired of disappointing everyone.
shockwavecentral: runandblogthat: If you’re ever interviewing for a new job and need an anecdote that demonstrates your stellar work ethic, I’d go with this story. Thanks! I think so too. In fact, I’m currently copy/pasting my tumblr posts into my resume. I should try that too, but I’m having trouble translating my most recent text post into something marketable. So far, I’ve come up...
You don’t want to look back on your life and wonder if you masturbated enough.
I have a 20% success rate predicting the end of horror movies. I just assume that one or more of the characters have been dead the entire time.