It says it right here. In 1772, Benjamen Franklin tried to weaponize kites after discovering the awesome power of electricity. He tried to organize a brigade of soldiers only armed with kites, keys and a little bit of string. They called themselves the Tethered Death Squad…
Went into Hollister for the first time in my life and I don’t know if it was the dim lights, pulsating club music, or the hordes of underage tweens, but it felt like I walked into a poorly planned Dateline sting operation.
Me and my girlfriend are both trying to see who can hook up with Alice Glass tonight. We walked out the door, shook hands, and said, “May the best man win…” Secrets for a successful relationship: Turn infidelity into a competition.
“No one’s better at the courageous, hope filled gaze slightly to the left of the camera than Obama. But who’s he staring at? Is it the ghost of Lincoln fending off masses of terrorists with a log? A bald eagle shitting freedom? Roosevelt wrestling a bear??
I WANNA KNOW!!”—me