I’m the type of guy that shows up to a potluck dinner with a box of eggos and a toaster. A hero.
Consoling a sad friend. I thought things were going well until she realized I was ripping off the theme song from Arthur.
A photographer stopped me on Michigan Ave to take my picture so I felt fly as fuck. Then I turned around and walked into a glass wall.
Every time a customer takes 5 seconds to tell me that they’re never coming back again, I wish they’d take another 2 and realize I don’t give a shit.