*inhales deeply* First day of marathon training. *exhales deeply* Time to bandaid my nipples.
I celebrated the last day of Black History Month yesterday by still not understanding the appeal of Michael Bublé.
catch me reusing a bottle of fiji so the shawties think im ballin
Harlem - Pissed
“I sit around all day
Waiting for the call
That I’m gonna ignore”
*snapchat of me after the Valentine’s show eating Rally’s and singing Do What You Want To My Body softly to my mushroom swiss burger*
I can show you the dollar menu.
Every time I date a girl. I’m Aladdin to their generic Disney princess. Street rat. But I don’t have a wise talking genie or a magic carpet so the shit don’t end well.
I consider myself a philanthropist because when something has 69 likes, I won’t like it. Even if I do like it. For the greater good.
Bout to drop off my resume attached to a box of wine.
Looking for jobs on Craigslist. Saw an ad for a bar that said “Are you attractive? Do you know what ‘turn up’ means? Apply here.” Bruh. This might be the first time in my entire life that I’m overqualified for a job.
"I don’t need to tag my posts as the Struggle cuz y’all already know."
My shitty apartment doesn’t have any heat. Everytime I go to bed, it’s like that scene in Titanic where Leo dies of hypothermia in the ocean. But instead of Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” playing softly in the background, it’s Jay-Z’s “Hard Knock Life”.