Spent the afternoon training my cats. I got one to walk into the next room and ignore me every time I snap my fingers. And the other one to lick it’s asshole for 20 minutes every time I say, “Love me.”
Today I learned it’s really hard to close the door on a canvasser who’s staring at you through your screen door. But not impossible.
the subject heading from my email explaining why I wouldn’t be paying my student loans this month
Eastern Standard Time
My mother texts me “U up?”
The closest thing I have to a personal mantra are the lyrics to Tweet’s “Oops”.
This is important.
Cause of death: $10 minimums.
Spent the morning in East Harlem. Befriended the local youths. They’ve nicknamed me “Girl Pants”.
Every bouncer in Brooklyn laughs audibly every time they see my Ohio ID. One of them refused to pat me down. “Get yo Ohio-ass inside.”
Live everyday like you only have 2 hours left of Spotify Premium free trial.
I raised awareness for #ALS by drunkenly biking into a parked car the other night and knocking the side mirror off.